A couple months ago I wrote a blog post about a key component of the decision-making process for Liz and me. I wrote about our first rule:
Wait until you and your spouse are on the same page, and NEVER pressure them.
At the end of the post I said that I would write part two of that post in the next couple of days. I didn’t.
In fact, other than posting a couple of infographics about Ireland, I didn’t post anything for the next 5 weeks.
Not because I just didn’t get around to it. But in large part because by the end of the week when it was time to post Rule #2, I was in the midst of something that had everything within me wanting to violate rule #2.
So to write about one of my core values, and then 2 weeks later announce a major decision I made, which I would know violated said value, would have been hypocritical. At the same time, we were experiencing a stressful enough time that I didn’t have much desire to write much of anything…let alone that.
To be clear, I didn’t want to violate Rule #2 because it’s a bad rule…rather, because the situation we were dealing with was emotional and crappy enough that I didn’t care about rules. I just wanted it to be over.
The thing is though…having Rule #2 as a core value, helped us with decisions we had to make. In fact, looking back, it seemed almost like God brought it up when he did so I’d have it fresh in my brain as we entered into a crazy season of life.
Let’s face it, there are times when we go through stuff that is hard enough and all we want is for it to stop. Sadly though, when we are in the midst of difficult, stressful, emotional stuff…our decision making ability isn’t at it’s best. At least mine isn’t.
I remember several years ago being in the midst of a difficult situation, and wanting to just quit my job. But one thing I’d read and heard taught countless times was “don’t make major life decisions when you are under stress.” So we waited. Once the stressful stuff was over, I could see what a mistake quitting would have been.
Regardless of what your rules/values are…it’s important that you take time when things are going well to figure out what they are. Talk them over with your spouse or your friends…write them down…reinforce them in your thinking so that when (as the commercial says) “life comes at you fast,” you’ll already have a good solid foundation from which to act. Not that you’ll never mess up, but as you come out the other side, you’ll be happy that you acted with integrity.
PS – This week I do plan on getting to rule number #2…no promises though (see, I’m learning!)